Answered prayer?

My mom was arrested on April 3rd for having 3 $20 counterfeit bills and possession of drug paraphernalia- 2 crack pipes and a bunch of orange pills in a plastic bag. It was also said in the report that she pawned her car, a $40,000 convertible Audi, for $8,000 to a local pawn shop along with many other items. The pawned car part made me sick to my stomach. She has never sounded so desperate.

Her preliminary hearing is this Friday. My sister and I (my other sister will be out of town) have decided to go to the hearing in an attempt to make a statement to her- We know what's going on and you can't lie to us anymore. It's scary to think about being there in her presence. I have not talked with her in person in a few weeks since before we tried to have an intervention. We decided to try intervention without tricking her into it- big mistake. It won't work; you have to trick them. She literally fled from us making her desperation all the more obvious. It's never been this bad; she's always been willing to defend herself. 

My mom's situation is unique. My grandfather is a very wealthy man and he has been supporting my mom because she teaches workout classes for a living and doesn't make a lot doing it. She, until very recently, has had loads of money at her disposal that we always assumed was going towards drugs. She's been very good at manipulating us into thinking she doesn't have a problem. Over the past few months, things have been getting worse and worse. And now she's being charged with a felony.

We are hoping to see some corrective action and hoping that this will give Mom a moment of sanity. I have been praying to God to just do something- DO ANYTHING! I have had a team of wonderful friends praying for my mom and I feel like this is an answer. Even the way we found out seemed to be divine. We'll see what happens.

The beginning.

I remember being at my mom's house, the house I grew up in, one day in the spring time. It was sometime around my freshman year of college, about 7 years ago, and Mom had recently broken her ankle in a biking accident. She was crazy into health and fitness- or maybe she was crazy into looking good. After being off her feet for a long period of time to heal she had gained some weight. She might have added 10 lbs onto her 115. She said to me, "Dawn* says there's this drug you can take and lose weight really quickly. What do you think about that? I mean you have to smoke, snort or inject it and I just don't know if I could do any of those." Bewildered by this comment, I was silent. My mom was asking me what I, her 18 year old daughter, thought if she did drugs to lose weight.

I'll never forget this conversation- it's the beginning of the story for me. I'll always wish I had said what I really thought.

Have you heard the song Say by John Mayer? I'm not his biggest fan but I love the lyrics of this song:

Take all of your wasted honor

Every little past frustration

Take all of your so-called problems

Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army

Fighting with the shadows in your head

Living out the same old moment

Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only. . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over

You'd better know that in the end

Its better to say too much

Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]

And the truth shall set you free. . .

I have recently realized a truth about my mom. She's an addict. I believe her addiction started with crystal meth and has since traveled down other avenues. I'm starting this blog as tool for myself. I want to be able to have a record of happenings associated with my mom's addiction and as an outlet for my feelings. I also have hopes that this will be a comfort to those who are dealing with this issue as well.

I feel like all the Oprah shows on drug addiction are about the parents whose children have the disease. I want to be a voice for the children whose parents are the infected. What happens when you've gone your whole life with a loving mother as your best friend and then at age 18 your parents get divorced and your mom becomes a drug addict?

A history and current events to come. . .