The beginning.

I remember being at my mom's house, the house I grew up in, one day in the spring time. It was sometime around my freshman year of college, about 7 years ago, and Mom had recently broken her ankle in a biking accident. She was crazy into health and fitness- or maybe she was crazy into looking good. After being off her feet for a long period of time to heal she had gained some weight. She might have added 10 lbs onto her 115. She said to me, "Dawn* says there's this drug you can take and lose weight really quickly. What do you think about that? I mean you have to smoke, snort or inject it and I just don't know if I could do any of those." Bewildered by this comment, I was silent. My mom was asking me what I, her 18 year old daughter, thought if she did drugs to lose weight.

I'll never forget this conversation- it's the beginning of the story for me. I'll always wish I had said what I really thought.

Have you heard the song Say by John Mayer? I'm not his biggest fan but I love the lyrics of this song:

Take all of your wasted honor

Every little past frustration

Take all of your so-called problems

Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army

Fighting with the shadows in your head

Living out the same old moment

Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only. . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over

You'd better know that in the end

Its better to say too much

Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]