Waking the Dead

So, it's been awhile. Almost a month. Sometimes I think of my mom and I realize I've forgotten about her. If she's not on my mind all the time I feel guilty. It's the way I imagine it would feel if someone close to me died. Whenever I think of her, I get this horrible image of her all strung out stuck in my head. Face sallowed, eyes sunken, teeth broken, misery.

I got a text from my mom's ex yesterday that read, "Praying for your mom." I immediately called my littlest sister and asked her what was going on. Apparently my grandpa has hired an attorney to watch Mom's case. She failed two drug tests and has to go to an arraignment next Friday for violation of probation.

We all knew it would happen. It was just a matter of time. I didn't think it would be this soon. It looks like the truth will finally be coming out. I just want to hear her say it. "I do drugs and I'm addicted to them. I don't want to stop either, and you can't make me."

I just wonder what it will be like if she gets better. I feel so numb.